I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
