You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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