loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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