You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize