Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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