Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
