i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
