I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
