dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
