how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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