so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
