if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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