Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
ttyl tear gas
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
