You made me cry and you don't even care
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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