It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
