Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
