take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
