thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
