worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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