He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
