dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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