A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
