Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
