i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
