im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
