That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
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I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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