Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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