he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
