What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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