People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
