I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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