But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
