i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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