It's like God shit irony all over that family
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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