Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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