I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Randomize
