To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
