idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
