I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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