TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
