And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
