playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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