I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
