we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
