This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
we're so committed to being not committed
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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