Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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