dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize