we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
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