plz talk dirty to me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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