Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
