no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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