hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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