Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
