I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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