Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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