how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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