I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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