I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
