hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
