my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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