After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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