Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
