I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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