so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
