no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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