Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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