Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I could fuck to npr.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
