so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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