Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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