I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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