We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
